Hiya. It’s been a while.
A lot of things happened since the last time I wrote here—both good and bad. I always say that I’m just here whenever I’m sad, but this time, I just want to get this out of my chest.
Good things first, I’m happy with the things happening to my writing life, and my sorta job. I’ve written some stories, and maybe I’ll be able to share it here, but I’m kinda terrified, to be honest. I don’t why, since nobody really reads this, but whatever. I need to arrange it better before I could share it.
With my job—it’s not a regular paying job, but it doesn’t eat up my soul and that is most important thing to me right now. I just wish I could find something that really could sustain me and my family and not make me feel like shit at the same time. I just need to look more, I guess.
Unlike last year, I have been feeling better about myself, thank the deities. A lot of things help. Family. Friends. Writing. My cats. Music, as always. The bad days still come by, but I get through it better than I did before. I got a better life vest, I guess, these past few months.
Okay – the bad thing. My country has been shit place to live in ever since, but it’s never gotten this bad. I don’t know what to do, to be very honest.
And then here’s my epilepsy. It’s not the main problem—I’ve made peace with the fact that my brain could decide to short circuit anytime I’m sleep-deprived or stressed and stuff. The thing is god, I feel so stifled. I know my parents do it because they care but, I don’t know. I want to go to places without them sometimes. I want to meet my friends any time. I just. I don’t fucking know. I feel like a whiny child.
But yeah. That’s it, really. I hope the next time I write here, I have some more good news. But for now, it’s enough.
Yeah. Talk soon. x