yes, Dean, i’m 21 now

check out my boy Dean’s songs he good he good

But yeah, I’m twenty-one. Which, apparently, comes with perks. 

  1. I can get a credit card.
  2. I can enter casinos.
  3. Officially an adult now.

Dude, those don’t sound like perks, though. But whatever. All the shit I’m dealing with stays the same.

I am still battling my own demons, falling in love with music more and more every single day, having genuine attempts to not be annoyed at everything I set my eyes on, trying to love myself every day. Nothing new. Same old, same old. But the last one was hard as hell, let me tell you.

I guess I just need to be content with learning new things everyday. To continue to filter the necessary and unnecessary; good and bad; right and wrong; and relearn everyday that those extremes have broad spectrums between them, and that I should know how to figure it out. Make the best of what I gain everyday–happiness, pain, laughter, anger, experiences–and use it to strengthen and build me up as a decent human being. All of those and just going with the flow, without asking the universe what it wants me to do because it sure as fuck won’t answer me (that fucker doesn’t give two shits). After all, the only person who can answer that is…me. Surprise.

I have to figure it out all by myself, at least a part of it. Just enough to get me by. The hardest thing to do, yeah, but also the only thing I could do regarding this one big clusterfuck also known as life.

But yeah, I’m twenty-one. Grew a year older. Hope that I grew up, too, even just a little bit.

Thank you. Talk soon. xx

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